Response to Class Discussion, 3/31

Today in class, I found the discussion to take a different perspective than it usually takes, which was examining how culture has affected how certain social interactions send underlying messages. For example, Professor Condon’s example of “Hey, can I buy you a drink” at the bar is a great example of how the underlying tone of sexual content thrives. Unfortunately, our culture norms have interpreted that as a pick up line and it is assumed that the guy wants to go home with that girl. Unfortunately, sometimes that may not be the case and the guy may just be interested in who you are. However, another solid point was that men feel as though the women need to get loosened up a bit and everyone needs the bit of liquid confidence, so buying a drink is just an easy way to break the ice. (I feel as though I am interpreting pick up lines) In a cultural such as this, when women feel uneasy or are approached, many put up a defensive wall very quickly, not sure of the guy and who he truly is. Which is why I feel like we hear less rape stories about women and bars than we do frat houses and house parties. The bar is really just an area of controlled meeting and interaction for adults.

Which leads me to an interesting concept to think about: what would it be like if our culture practiced as though house parties and frat houses were a meeting place for older adults, while bars were open to young adults? In a sense, bars are a controlled environment where if an individual appears too drunk, the bartenders will cut you off and the bouncers X you out. At a frat house or a house party, there is no sense of control anywhere. The people responsible for kicking out the obnoxiously too drunk people are drunk themselves, so they really don’t have a good sense of control either. If our culture was like this, would rape still occur? Well, yes unfortunately I think so.

Viewing the culture of rape has lead me to believe that it has so many different lenses, I find it hard to grasp it all at once, which may be another factor as to why this appears as such a taboo topic in the United States. Will rape ever be a crime that no longer exists in this culture? With the amount of social media, lack of communication and honestly lack of understanding of this crime, it is hard to say where this will lead to in later years.

One question I would like to look into more as to why men think that they need alcohol to help ease them into conversation with women? As lame as rejection feels, that cannot be the sole reason to feel like they must feed alcohol into women to break the ice?